Monday, February 28, 2005

The Non-Tenth Floor Stuff

As Cardinal Castrillion (immortalized in history for the great clanger about the abuse scandals as product of "American pansexualism and libertinism") would say, it is an X-ray of the media interest in the pope's illness that the statements of the Holy See Press Office are being issued in Italian and English. This never happens.

So while all you Anglophones (as if I'm something different, and I am when I'm an Italophone) are staring at the windows of the Gemelli, being spoiled by the luxury of having four-line Italian statements translated for you, I'm getting to savor by my lonesome everything the rest of the biz is too distracted to even know is happening -- it's obvious that the grip of the papal death fetish continues....

It's only Monday, and we've already got another Ray Burke problem on our hands. Ray Flynn, Ray Burke -- any Ray who is not Ray Charles is a churchman's burden these days.

But the Jamiebomber's owner continues his year of destruction by closing 21 St. Louis parishes in one fell swoop; again, something's gotta give to pay the spokesman his 125G allowance. Burke urged the faithful to accept the move "with the obedience of Christ."

Isn't that just precious -- no one less than THE LORD HIMSELF wants your parish closed. When the bishops run this rail (i.e. playing victim and begging people to look above as the mortals have botched it beyond repair), it reminds me of a great line from a movie: "Whenever I'm down, I turn to Jesus and he helps me."

Those over 25 may have a hard time placing the quote, and the flashing of a crucifix which invariably accompanied it. To save you the Google sprint, it's from Sarah Michelle Gellar's character in Cruel Intentions -- "Jesus" contained a vial of booger sugar or, as laypeople call it, cocaine.

Conspicuous by his absence in the closing coverage was Jamie Allman, himself. And that silence is the most shocking thing of all.

He might've just turned to "Jesus."

More later....



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