Monday, March 14, 2005

Daddy's Gonna Take Your Allowance

No, the title is not in reference to me. My chutzpah has limits.

Two more beauties for the day. First comes from the always amusingly Calvinist mind of Bob Vasa, the bishop of Baker. Besides giving Calvinists everywhere a bad name, Vasa's claim to infamy is that he always finds the least important thing to bitch about, turns it into a crisis (does this sound familiar?), waves his wizard's wand and -- POOF! -- his opponents, who are the tools of the devil of course, are excommunicated. But then, only three people agree with him, so it's a pretty spare group seeking "justice," and a pretty big number of people seeking recourse from Rome. (Vasa, everyone may remember, is the genius who showed up at a VOTF meeting in someone's backyard and started screaming hellfire at the attendees. If that doesn't scream "crazy," then we'd be hard pressed to find a definition.)

For those who believe the Lawler Report (Phil's version of hyperventilating, hyper-out-of-context linkage in the Drudge style), the state of Oregon is currently in schism because, lacking answers from their bishops (who, in shades of Philadelphia, are too blessed by God to talk to laity), Catholic people seeking inspiration and leadership are "turning to Sister Joan Chittister."

Well, Lawler still turns to Cardinal Law as a moral exemplar, and we all know that Bernie didn't do a damn thing wrong. Nope. Nyet. Nein. He's as innocent as a lamb, a living saint if ever there were one.

And now, this is when I start my ritual gagging. This hypocrisy circus would be terribly funny, if only it were fiction.

So the Oregonian has the wisdom to ask Bob Vasa about all this Chittister witchcraze which is mesmerizing his people, and the response is vintage Bruzkewicz -- whose vicar general Vasa was:

In a telephone interview, Vasa defended his pastoral letter [which demanded oaths of fidelity from every lay minister, their families and all their pets], acknowledging that some Catholics likely won't sign it -- and may leave the church. "A teen-ager who may not like the rule of a 10 o'clock curfew may have to find another place to live," he says.

So, there you have it, kids: Vasa is Big Daddy. You're stupid, poor and it's his roof under which you live. And if you don't follow his rules, off to the shelter with you -- or the cat o' nine tails.

This is like gangsta-rap style turf marking here. But at least Biggie and Pac did it with style. And lace albs just don't cut it.


And, lastly, this afternoon a San Francisco municipal judge ruled that gay marriage is constitutional under the California constitution.

So who is this anti-family, anti-Christian, sodomist-bribed, Sponge Bob Square Pants-watching pinko? (It's SARCASM, people!) None other than a Catholic Republican.....

Somewhere in the distance, there is the pitter-patter of the angry hooves of mantilla-wearing people (men and women alike). Tomorrow, they'll march on the San Francisco chancery, demanding that Bill Levada behead this guy.

So the question presents itself: Do our forays into sanctions -- and the conservatives' intent to use them to drive out anyone they abhor (i.e. people for whom Vasa isn't some kind of freaky sex symbol, a la Rick James), while keeping the ecclesiastical Jeff Gannons in high business --extend to Catholic members of the judiciary?

The debate begins tomorrow.



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